Odds and ends

Part of the yard today, the 7th of August, 2012

I was sitting in the Honda outside the little clinic downtown when it opened at 8 a.m. Blood was drawn while I looked the other way. Ten bucks were paid, and I’ll have results on cholesterol, triglycerides and blood sugar this afternoon.

That’s Number 1.

2. Our nephew, who is 9, is a religious fanatic. He is taking a class in cane paste so he can make his own statue of Jesus. He makes shrines at home. He ties a toy lion to a cross and holds it against a wall. He has many statues of Jesus, and he wants even more.

His mother has blocked church programming on the cable TV as if it were the Hustler Channel. But he still attends a Catholic school, which is a lousy idea.

3. We have a peach tree in the yard, and two pear trees. They are reproducing like horny Mormons. My lovely wife knocks the fruit down with a long stick. She eats a lot, and takes the rest to her sister’s employees downtown.

I must pick up the leftovers that rot on the ground.

4. We discovered this morning that there’s no pork in our neighborhood, so we had to get in the Honda and drive to the market by the train station. We are having a pork dish for lunch. And a nice salad of mango and onion.

5. For the first time ever, I am letting the yard do pretty much what it wants. I weed a little. I pick up green junk. I trim a bit, but it’s nothing like the first nine summers when I took an anal approach to it all. My wife says it looks nicer this way.

Once a week, the neighbor named Abel cuts the grass for about $7.50. My wife rolls her eyes and says I pay too much. It’s likely more than he gets for a full day of changing sheets in the sex hotel next door, his full-time job.

6. The paint is peeling badly around the skylight over the bathtub. I need to do something about that, which is what I’ve been telling myself for months.

7. There seem to be fewer snails this year.

8. A bunch of Occupy goons attacked Obama’s campaign headquarters in Oakland the other night. My happiness floweth over. Such sweet irony.

I may update this later today if I think of more Odds and Ends, but maybe I won’t. Lives are full of Odds and Ends, and you have to draw the line somewhere.

12 thoughts on “Odds and ends”

  1. It’s luck of the draw as to what kind of parents we’re born to. Hopefully your nephew will outgrow this obsession. On a lighter note, your yard looks great.
    And seriously, do you really want another George W. Bush in the whitehouse?!

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    1. Francisco: I certainly hope the kid outgrows the obsession, but I guess there are worse things in this world than being a priest. I guess.

      On the second matter: It’s not that I want another Dubya in the White House. It’s that I want Obama out of the White House as soon as possible.

      By the way, when Romney wins, as he will, you won’t have another Dubya. Haven’t you heard? Many Republicans criticize Romney for being too moderate.

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  2. Always enjoy the pictures of your home. I like a yard that’s a little wild it seems to be more interesting.

    My fruit trees are going crazy too. I’ll have a lot to can up soon.

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    1. Jackie: My wife has never gotten into the canning thing. It does not seem to be popular down here or even known for that matter. It sure was where I grew up in Georgia a hundred years ago.

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  3. Ten Bucks! Not a bad deal. Cost me $15 on the teat of Medicare.#1
    #2 You have fought the good fight! Cross him and turn him over to his maker!
    #3 Get a longer stick!
    #4 Smart choice. I love Pork dishes.
    #5 This scares me! I have did this before and a couple years later made for more work trying to tame the growth! Pay Abel $15.00 and turn him loose with the sharpest machete you own!
    #6 Find somebody with a ladder and a paint brush, I dislike ladder work!
    #7 Escargot never gave me the bang for my buck!
    #8 Well I’ll be! There is a few left with some Huevos!

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    1. Parker: There was a sale going on yesterday, so I got a discount. But even the normal price is not much higher, plus you don’t need a doctor’s referral. You just walk in and say what you want. Really sweet.

      I don’t need a longer stick. I pick up the fruit on the ground because it’s trash and must be tossed. It rots quickly after hitting the ground, gets yucky. I’m not a peach fan here because, being a Georgia cracker, I know what a swell peach is. These things are dreadful. My wife thinks they’re great.

      We eat chicken and pork almost exclusively. Rarely eat beef.

      If the yard gets out of control, I’ll have Abel or somebody come and whack it back in November, and haul it off. Easy.

      As for the skylight paint, I don’t need a ladder. If I stand on the tub ledge I reach the trouble spot easily. I just need to get off my butt.

      I love escargot, which is to say I love French bread, butter and garlic.

      I wouldn’t say those Oakland Occupiers have huevos. I would say they’re a bunch of clueless anarchist airheads.

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  4. Your yard is interesting and not really our of control. So, as they say, be at peace! As for your nephew, well, it will fade away, but, it would be quite interesting to dig a bit deeper and find the source of this obsession… it may be his unconscious way of trying to tell you (and other members of the family) something… something that may not be important to any one of you, but might be QUITE important to him. We all have a thousand ways of communicating… Please, do not laugh this off, but gently and respectfully “dig” a bit deeper. All the best! José (Montréal)

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    1. José: The parts of the yard I consider out of control are beds conveniently enclosed by concrete and rock. Most of that is not shown in the photo. The grassy part I keep neat.

      Regarding my nephew, you are quite correct, of course. But digging into the subconsciousness of a 9-year-old, I think, would be a futile task, especially this particular boy of ours. He is very, very smart, but he does not know himself. (Most adults do not know themselves.) He was adopted at birth. His parents separated when he was about 5. His father accidentally shot himself to death. His mother’s personality issues, which I will not go into in depth here, are ongoing and extreme. A few years ago he spent more time than he should have visiting a couple of morbidly Catholic aunts. He has no siblings. The whole picture is a mess, in my opinion, and I am just keeping my fingers crossed.

      I appreciate your feedback. Feel free to return.

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