Collectivists cancel

WASHINGTON (Reuters) — Union halls around the nation are receiving mass cancellations of reservations made in recent months for the night of November 6, according to informed sources.

The reservations were made in the expectation of multicultural parties on Election Night — fiestas to celebrate the nation’s wondrous rainbow — for what was generally assumed to be an easy re-election of President Obama.

However, poll results in the last few weeks showing Republican contender Mitt Romney tied or, in some cases, ahead of President Obama, have cast a pall over the nation’s collectivist cell meetings, which are held every Saturday night in taverns.

And outside check-cashing establishments in minority neighborhoods.

And in Ivy League faculty lounges and boardrooms of the national media, except Fox.

History shows that when contestants are tied, the incumbent invariably loses.

Simultaneously, an upsurge in reservations has been noted in Episcopal Churches and party salons of private elementary, junior and senior high schools in exclusive neighborhoods across the nation.

Reports on MSNBC that backwoods barns and cabins of the Ku Klux Klan were also seeing an increase in party planning for Election Night could not be confirmed by Fox News or any other Fair and Balanced media.

Ann Romney was allegedly spotted in a Boston Barney’s over the weekend choosing a special plate service to be engraved with the Presidential Seal and a Mormon prayer.

And Mitt Romney was reported to have said in his private club that, barring being caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy, there was no way he could lose on November 6.

He lit a $500 cigar with a silver-plated Zippo and said: We’re back, boys!

22 thoughts on “Collectivists cancel”

    1. Lee: I have not seen last night’s debate, but I did tape it. I did catch the final five minutes or so, live. I may or may not watch it. Probably not.

      From what I read on reliable news sources (i.e. those who see things my way) this morning, Romney played it safe, which likely was a good idea for him.

      Gentle tone here? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I do like to mix it up!

      Thanks for the feedback.

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  1. Ahhhh…Señor Felipe, fantasy makes such good reading. You’re setting yourself up for a major fall. I have faith in my fellow citizens to choose the right path.

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    1. Heading back yet again, eh? Well, I will be cheering capitalism on Election Eve from here upstairs at the Hacienda. I wish I could get Fox, but I’ll have to settle for CNN.

      Good luck with the housework.

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      1. There are wishes and there are facts my friend. The facts are on Obama’s side and you are clinging to your wishes. Don’t let your self be too disapointed on the 6th.

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  2. Felipe, I cast my ballot by mail about 3 days ago. So that’s 3 votes for truth, justice and the American Way. 🙂 Keep those house and yard pics coming. (By the way, my wife told me of the new trend down there of gassing houses while people are sleeping and then going in and robbing them blind while they are out cold. Have you seen any of that, or read about it in your local newspapers, down where you live?)

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    1. Mike: Nope, I have heard nothing of that gas stuff, and it reeks to me of urban legend, which is to say that I do believe your wife heard it, but I do not believe it’s ever happened. But, as in all things, I could be mistaken. It happens.

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  3. I also voted last week by mail, so there’s 4 votes for truth, justice and the American Way.

    I know this is off topic, but I wanted to put this out there. My youngest son is in the Navy and my oldest grandson is in the Army. Both are in harm’s way right now. This administration just cut hazardous-duty pay to our military, and they are going to cut their healthcare benefits too. Apparently, Obama thinks they are only worth $7.50 per day.

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