Vitamin V-plus

(Warning: The following may be disturbing to young children and women prone to the vapors.)

I took Viagra the other night. The first time. Zoweee!

spikeI’m 68, in better physical condition that most men my age. Blood pressure is good. Blood sugar is normal. Cholesterol’s just dandy. And I am sleek to boot. At 6′-3″, I weigh about 170.

Really got no significant health issues at all. I take no ongoing meds, which is more than many folks my age can say.

In short, I feel fine. Plus, I have a child bride, a daily inspiration.

And my weiner still works! But not precisely as it did at age 38 or even 48. I attribute this to an ever diminishing testosterone level, which is normal as men age. But the hot dog worked well enough, and I was happy with it.

I had no plans whatsoever to down Vitamin V-plus.

And then I noticed that hereabouts, below the border, purchasing Viagra requires no doctor visit, no prescription. It’s right there for the asking.

I opted for adventure.

The Farmacia Guadalara sold me a box of four 50-mg. blue pills for about 45 pesos. That’s around $3.50 U.S. You can even buy a box of just one!

Viagra comes in calibers of 25, 50 and 100. About 15 percent of men feel side effects, mostly increased heartbeat, flushing, headaches, nose congestion — or death. That means 85 percent suffer no side effects, good odds.

But there is the big mama:  If you have a woody for more than four hours, see your doctor immediately.

This falls into the category of: I have good news and bad news.

And it’s the same news.

I decided to start out small. I had purchased the 50-caliber pills because the drugstore did not stock the 25s. With a pill cutter, I halved it.

My candlelit trial run revealed the 25-caliber to be ideal.

Just so you know, I’m 48 again.

30 thoughts on “Vitamin V-plus

  1. OMG amigo, is there no subject off limits for you?
    It is “hard” for me not to comment on this “penetrating” subject. As it were, I shall “stand firm” in my decision not to “interject” my comments…
    Got me a diamond cutter personally.. 😉


    1. Señor Calypso: You too are blessed with a babe of a Latina child bride which, as we know, matters. Keep in mind that when you fall from No. 4 to No. 3 on “the Score” that relief awaits you in the nearest pharmacy, no questions asked. God, I love this cockamamie country. Start with the small caliber. We don’t want to lose you to a heart attack or, heaven forbid, the four-hour woody.


    1. Ms. Mommy. I did not know the about the Woody Score either till just this morning. Ain’t the internet wonderful?

      As for increasing your knowledge, I’m here to serve, plus I increase my own knowledge at the same time.


  2. “Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”
    ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Knowledge is a wonderful thing, and so are quotes.


  3. I knew that this matter would come up eventually. Thank you, Felipe, for conducting these important tests for the rest of us.

    Don Cuevas


  4. I wonder if it is water soluble? There are a few old men’s clubs that I have reluctantly visited, since I don’t consider myself that old. Someone should spike their water pitcher so they can stop talking about the good old days and actually do something again.


    1. Tancho: It is water-soluble. If you swallow it, it takes effect in about an hour. If you let it dissolve beneath your tongue, that time is reduced. The stuff you can learn on the internet.

      Now stay out of old men’s clubs, fer crissakes.


  5. Swallowing it gets it into your bloodstream; does putting it under your tongue work on other areas?


    1. Señor Poster: Did not seem to. The product focuses on one area mostly. I did read that it is prescribed on occasion for some other health issues. I forget now what they are.


  6. We’re the same height and I weigh about 10 pounds less. I tried vitamin V over a year ago and all it gave me was swollen ankles. I then tried testosterone gel and got the same results.

    I was looking for a performance booster out of curiosity to deal with performance anxiety with a new partner. Once I got into a relationship the performance anxiety disappeared and I was as good as ever. My conclusion is it is still ninety percent psychological.


    1. Andres: Swollen ankles! That’s strange. Well, sure, one’s attitude, especially for a guy, is a huge factor. But the product really does work. I think your anxiety overpowered the chemical element. People are interesting.

      If you’re my height and weigh 10 pounds less, you are one skinny dude. I hope you’ve still got the girlfriend. It matters.


  7. Thank you for your candor, señor Felipe! Its one of those subjects that one can be peripheral to. Glad your experiment was a success! Have fun! Arizona Deb


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