Brown bags and citizens

The State of California was once the nation’s crackpot capital, but the City of Seattle has seized that title.

California is no less loony than before. It simply has slid into deep financial crisis (See Detroit for California’s future) and has more pressing matters on its collective mind. Its crackpot rating is on the back burner.

The Speech Police in Seattle has a division called Thought Control.

If you can control thoughts, the need for Speech Police will diminish dramatically and, with luck, may eliminate the need for Speech Police entirely.

That is the dream.

Here is the Thought Control Division’s latest “suggestion” for Seattle. These “suggestions” are like Hitler’s “suggestion” that you should not hide Jews and Stalin’s “suggestion” that you shun the profit motive.

They are suggestions with teeth.

Brown BagSeattle’s regime suggests that city workers shun the words “citizen” and “brown bag” because they might “offend someone.”

A city spokesman named Elliott Bronstein says that brown bags stir bad memories in the “African-American” community.

Bronstein claims the phrase brown bag “does bring up associations with the past when a brown bag was actually used, I understand, to determine if people’s skin color was light enough to allow admission to an event, or to come into a party that was being held in a private home.”

Aside from being hilarious, this is blatant nonsense. Never happened.

Bronstein offers these alternatives: Sack lunch and “lunch and learn.” How “lunch and learn” substitutes for brown bag or sack lunch remains obscure.

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But there is more. Seattle also “suggests” to city employees that they not use the word “citizen” because it too might “offend someone.”

That someone, of course, is an illegal alien. And if there is anyone the Speech Police love more than a smoky skin tone, it’s an illegal alien.*

Eliminating the word citizen from your vocabulary will be easy, Bronstein assures us. “How about residents” instead? he asks glibly.

This will make sense to the slow-witted, who abound in Seattle. However, citizen and resident are in no way interchangeable. Citizen is a legal status. Resident is someone, anyone, who simply lives somewhere.

You will hear this type of prattle in the unfree world’s re-education camps, which Seattle clearly has become.

Meanwhile, in other nations of the globe, people are addressing actual problems and acting like adults.

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* Most illegal aliens have smoky skin tones, making them doubly beloved.

(Note: For a little more information, click here.)

14 thoughts on “Brown bags and citizens

  1. If you don’t believe me, just ask Ross Perot. You never know what is offensive language until someone says their feelings were hurt. Get a grip, you people.


      1. In his 1992 presidential campaign Ross Perot addressed the NAACP. In so doing he stated that some things were unfavorable to “you people’. He caught unmitigated condemnation for the reference to “you people” . He nor I understood why.


        1. Carlos: I remember that. It may have been the first ever use of “you people,” and it remains today a no-no, having become part of PC Scripture. Offense is to be found almost anywhere in your country.


  2. City of Seattle formally declares white bags to be superior to brown.

    This is how the headlines should read.


  3. Too funny. “Citizen” — the word that once represented revolutionary zeal — has been dumped into the basket of aristocratic and bourgeois heads. Who would have thought Seattle would replace the Space Needle with the guillotine?


  4. If you want to enjoy great spoofs about people who are out of touch in America, find the show, Portlandia. Segments are all over the internet. The series first season was a great satire of modern PC people who take themselves way too seriously. The second season is a bit forced, in my opinion.


  5. You people just don’t get it, do you?

    How can you ever show compassion and diversity to your fellow man, oh sorry, person, when using those outdated words. I understand that they are also going to have fireman and postman verboten also.

    Someone said that once you take control of the language or words you have control over thought.

    We already know that good is bad, and baaad is good. So what’s left? or should I say to the left of center … oh, never mind.


    1. Tancho: Fireman and postman were eliminated long ago. Perhaps you are napping.

      You are quite right in that control of language leads to control of thought, and that is the objective. Many people find these things merely humorous and silly, but they actually are quite serious and dangerous.

      These people who come up with these things are anti-American and worse.


  6. The best term to describe the Speech Police in Seattle has changed many times. The word started out as cretin. When that became pejorative, it was replaced with idiot, imbecile and moron. When those words became pejorative it was changed to retarded, and now the word is so offensive it’s called the R-word. The word has been replaced with intellectually disabled.


    1. Andres: So, I’m guessing you won’t be moving to Seattle any time soon.

      I was in Seattle just once, summer of 1997. Pretty place in spite of the general mindset.


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