I am woman!

Call me Felipa. I am woman. Hear me roar.

Yes, in keeping with changing times, especially the trailblazing state of California, I have decided to switch gender, sex, whatever it’s cool to call it.

I’ve spotted some nice frocks in the market, indigenous style, and I’ll fill a hamper. I’ll let my hair grow long and silky, and I’ll shave my armpits and legs. I’ll wear a tight jock at all times to shrink my considerable package.

Perhaps I’ll just slice it off. I don’t want to pussyfoot around this.

Felipa
Felipa

Most fun of all, I will now go into the lady john, and perhaps I’ll peek under the stall doors to gauge the competition.

With luck, my child bride will leap in the opposite direction, so we can still make love in the moonlight. During the day, she can don denim overalls with a rolled sock stuffed down her left leg.

She already goes to the gym a lot, and she has muscles.

I will purchase perfume and scarlet lipstick. I’m well over 50, so menopause won’t bug me. I won’t go hot and cold during the night.

These are exciting new times in which we live, and I do adore California and Gov. Jerry Brown for legislating new ways of thinking.

Now where did I put my eye liner? I am woman. Hear me shriek!

22 thoughts on “I am woman!”

  1. Man, just when I thought things couldn’t get any nuttier around here, California proved me wrong!

    I’m starting to wonder where the “normal” people live in this country? Certainly few in Cali. Crazy laws here in the Socialist Republic of New York. I had to purchase a fishing license here to fish in, get this, my own back yard!
    May we live in interesting times.

    Like

    1. Marco: The huge majority of the nation is quivering in fear before the flailing elbows and vocal threats of various minuscule segments of the population. It is, in a word, absurd.

      Like

      1. Wouldn’t be happening if leechers like prisoners didn’t vote.
        BTW do you plan on making the lap dance circuit in drag? Even as a protest you might pick a few 20 peso notes in your g-string.

        Like

    2. PS: As for the fishing license, that is simply another tax. With one in seven Americans now on food stamps and the ranks of the “disabled” soaring, government must get cash wherever it can to maintain these helpless people. That is likely excessively so in New York.

      To paraphrase what a very astute friend in Alabama said to me recently: You people are in real trouble up there.

      Like

  2. Parents need to pull their kids from public indoctrination centers (schools). Oh wait, that means they would have to be parents. In California that could be a combination of just about anything.

    My number 1 goal is to get out of California. Mexico maybe, if not, some nice red state where they still believe in God and the 2nd Amendment.

    Like

    1. Jackie: I feel your pain. Alas, California once was a great place. I lived there for about a year in the mid-1960s courtesy of Uncle Sam and the U.S. Air Force. Absolutely loved it. But that was then, and this is now.

      Like

  3. I can’t wait until it will be legal to marry your dog in California. Just waiting for crash and burn. Wondering how the parents explain that to their children?

    Like

  4. We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.
    R. D. Laing

    We are witnessing the implosion of American culture in the 21st century.

    Like

    1. Well, I have been reading forever and never commented!
      However this is hilarious and has provoked me into my online debut!

      Like

Comments are closed.