On being Chelsea

The U.S. military is always good for a laugh these days.

Chelsea Elizabeth Manning, who used to be the traitor named Bradley Manning, has been convicted of espionage and sentenced to the Big House for 35 years even though she apparently may get out in a third of that time.

ChelseaBradley, er, I mean Chelsea, has gone girly even though she still has a pair hanging, well, you know, down there, and the military says it will not cut them off for her.

Perhaps a cell mate has a saw-shank.

I have read that before committing her atrocious espionage, she* once flew off the handle during duty hours in what is properly called a hissy fit. The military did not lower her sky-high security rating at that time.

I am ambivalent about this “woman trapped in a man’s body” thing. Being somewhat convinced of reincarnation, I think it’s possible that a previous existence might bleed over into the latest life.

Then again, one could simply view it as mental illness.

But either interpretation indicates something severely wrong, and I imagine the Army had spotted something quite quirky in Chelsea long before the nasty spying matter came to light.

I bet the Army got all squirmy about it and decided to do nothing, not wanting to commit that most heinous of crimes: insensitivity.

While espionage might get you 35 years in a federal slammer, insensitivity will get you drawn and quartered, figuratively speaking, usually.

The American media, always good for a laugh too, embraced Manning’s feminine side in a flash. She is Chelsea now, even on her Wikipedia page. Plus The New York Times, National Public Radio, Huffington Post and their ilk.

Calling her Bradley will get you labeled a bigot, probably a racist too!

Even though Chelsea still sports, you know, a pair.

* * * *

HasanMoving on with military humor, let’s turn to Nidal Hasan, the Army major and Mohammedan crackpot who killed 13 people on an Army base while yelling Hooray Allah! or something like that.

In spite of his yelling Hooray Allah! the military refused to label this jihadist terrorism. Instead, it was “workplace violence.” Even the sensitive Barry Obama refused to call that spade a spade.

Yes, Hasan simply went postal. Perhaps his mail pouch was overflowing, and he wasn’t going to take it anymore.

Even the White House is good for a laugh at times.

Hasan has been sentenced to death. Good.

May he enjoy his 72 imaginary virgins.

* * * *

* I am being sensitive to Chelsea/Bradley’s gender issues.

6 thoughts on “On being Chelsea”

  1. Remember the cartoon we all once found so funny. The man dressed as Napoleon laid out on a psychiatric couch. We all knew immediately that the guy was a fruit cake.

    Not now. If the same cartoon showed up in a newspaper, we would have to ask ourselves: “But who does HE think he is; not who do WE think he is.” We are required, in the name of sensitivity, to disregard objective facts and wallow in subjective fantasy.

    And if such an insensitive cartoon were to run in The New York Times, the French should feel free to run amok in Paris, burn Pontiacs, and call for the dismemberment of the President. After all, who do WE think WE are living life as if objectivity had any place in our view of the world.

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    1. Steve: Burning Pontiacs would not be in keeping with the times because Chief Pontiac was a “native American.” Be better to torch Fords since Henry Ford was a privileged white man.

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  2. I read somewhere that Bradley Manning wants to be known as a woman, but does not wish to serve his sentence in a woman’s prison. I assume Chelsea/Bradley would have more dating partners in the men’s prison? Weird.

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