Christmas wish list

fruitcake

1. World peace (fat chance).

2. Libertarian U.S. president. House and Senate too (in my dreams).

3. Fruitcake from the Collin Street Bakery in Corsicana, Texas.

4. Royal Riviera pears from Harry & David. Actually, just about anything from Harry & David would be fine, like the Hearthside Gift Basket Super Grand Deluxe, just $500.

If you’re gonna wish, wish large.

However, living south of the Rio Bravo makes Wishes 3 and 4 mostly impossible.*

Harry & David ships to Macau and Bhutan, but not to Mexico. The Collin Street Bakery ignores the foreign market completely. Rank discrimination, I say.

There are many advantages to Mexican living, but it’s not perfect — not just yet.

* * * *

* No. 1 is impossible due to human nature. No. 2 will be impossible until they send all us Mexicans back where we came from. Give each a fruitcake at the border.

17 thoughts on “Christmas wish list”

  1. Nos. 1 and 2 are perfect…even if never achievable…as for the Corsicana fruitcake, no thanks…you can have mine when they ship us all back…I had a very wealthy aunt who used to send Harry & David’s pears to everyone for Christmas…unfortunately I didn’t appreciate her thoughtfulness and generosity until I got much older…by then the pears had stopped and so had she…finding a box of them on your stoop down here is as likely as the first 2 items happening!

    Like

    1. Charles: You do not like the Collin Street fruitcake?! You are a flawed man. True, fruitcakes have long had a bad rep. Have you heard the one about their being only one fruitcake in the world, and it keeps getting re-gifted by everyone?

      But the Collin Street version is wonderful. That’s what I believe.

      As for pears, I’m not much of a fan. However, Harry & David’s are 10 notches above the norm. Yum!

      Like

  2. I think I have a Collin Street Bakery cake in the garage as a wheel chock. You know they last for years. I will look for it.

    Like

    1. Red Shoes: It is well known that communists have flawed personalities and taste buds.

      But I am shocked that you turn your back on the Hearthside Gift Basket Super Grand Deluxe, $500 of good eating.

      Like

    1. Red Shoes: Dissing cheese is a pretty wide sweep. There are endless varieties of cheese, and many are yummy! Salami is good too if the cracker and mustard are up to snuff.

      Like

  3. Can you get pears of any stripe where you are?

    I’ve personally found Harry and David to be shockingly overpriced for what you get. For half (or less) of what they charge, you can get better fruit at Whole Foods Market, a fine Texas institution.

    As for fruit cake, I haven’t had the pleasure of that particular bakery, but count me a fan. I think the problem Americans in general have with fruit cake is that they can’t quite grasp the idea that it needs to be eaten in quarter-inch slices, and no more. The way people serve it would be akin to eating a half-cup of honey at a sitting. Don’t blame the honey for your having eaten too much.

    Saludos,

    Kim G
    Boston, MA
    Where we always thought that “fruitcake,” when applied to a person, was a homophobic slur, not a political one.

    Like

    1. Kim: Getting a fresh pear here is just a matter of picking one off one of the two pear trees in my yard, but they are in no way the same as what Harry & David sells. Of course, H&D is pricey, but have you ever actually eaten one of those pears? It’s like comparing a Yugo to a Mercedes. They are worlds apart. I have never eaten such fantastic pears anywhere else, and I am skeptical that Whole Foods pears are equal. Normally, I don’t really care for pears.

      As for fruitcake, the Collin Street Bakery has a fruitcake that is just about at the same level above other fruitcakes as H&D pears are above normal pears. Order one, and you’ll be a fan forever, hooked.

      You are right. Fruitcake should be eaten in small slices. Is anything served in small slices anymore?

      I have never heard fruitcake used in a political sense. As for its being a homophobic slur, there are faaaaar worse ones than that. I kinda like fruitcake. It’s cute.

      Like

    1. That video sums up well the general view of fruitcake.

      But, Becky, you really gotta order one from Collin Street. It’s a whole other world of fruitcake. Wait till after Christmas. They ship fruitcake all year.

      Like

Comments are closed.