Hillary hilarity

hillTHAT HILLARY stands a better-than-fair shot of being the Democrat nominee is amazing.

The Democrats are the party of permanent victims, illegal aliens, open borders, lawlessness, dole recipients both able-bodied and not, fat-cat union retirees, that huge segment of blacks who don’t know they’re being hustled, movie stars, deviants, chaos, the emotionally unstable* and, perhaps most of all, distracted voters who haven’t realized it’s not their Daddy’s Democrat Party anymore.**

Hillary and her hound dawg hubby, however, are .0001-Percenters who own four mansions. Her actual accomplishments — positive ones — are virtually nonexistent. Even her supporters can cite little.

As pundit Charles Krauthammer has pointed out, the only concrete thing she has to offer is Hillary-ness. She differs from two other popular Democrats — Barry and Bernie — in that those two guys are sincere — grievously mistaken, but sincere.

Hillary simply wants to be president! Apart from that, she has little to say, which is why she dodges reporters, simply waiting for the coronation she knows she richly (pun intended) deserves.

Hillary has trust issues. Let’s have fun with that. Here’s a list that’s floating around cyberspace. I hope it will brighten your day.

It’s titled “17 Things I Trust More than Hillary Clinton.”

1. Mexican tap water.

2. O.J. Simpson showing me his knife collection.

3. A fart when I have diarrhea.

4. Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby.

5. Michael Jackson’s doctor.

6. An Obama nuclear deal with Iran.

7. A Palestinian on a motorcycle.

8. Gas station sushi.

9. A Jimmy Carter economic plan.

10. Brian Williams news reports.

11. Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton.

12. Playing Russian Roulette with a semi-auto pistol.

13. Emails from Nigerian princes.

14. A condom made in China.

15. A prostate exam from Captain Hook.

16. Bill Clinton at a Girl Scout convention.

and my personal favorite:

17. The Heimlich Maneuver from Barney Frank.

The original list included 20, but I culled three as unworthy.

Have a great day.

* * * *

* Bruce/Caitlin Jenner, a Republican, is an exception.

** You likely are in this category. You are culpable but reformable.

(Bonus material: Hillary dishes out $600 for a haircut.)

43 thoughts on “Hillary hilarity

  1. In the interest of balance, I thought I’d add the following paragraph, just so that we can see the outlandish caricatures of both sides:

    The Republicans are the party of plutocrats, climate-change deniers, science-deniers, warmongers, gun-toting crazies, conspiracy theorists, religious extremists, subscribers to 19th century economic fallacies, the huge segment of white, working-class voters who don’t know that they’re being hustled by a party that works against their interests, voters in states who benefit massively from federal largess, yet who want to cut it off, the emotionally unstable, and perhaps most of all, by distracted voters who haven’t realized that it’s not their Daddy’s Republican Party of common-sense solutions any more.

    All that said, yes, Hillary is distinctly unappealing. Her foundation is a scam that seems barely legal if at all. And her creation and use of a personal email server during her time as Secretary of State also seems borderline legal at best, and highly unethical and questionable in any case.

    The rise of Donald Trump is interesting in that I interpret it as something of a protest movement by people who are fed up with the status quo, which Hillary and most of the other candidates fully represent. And it’s fascinating to watch the Republican party squirm as Trump says all the things that the rank-and-file believe, but the leadership has sworn to pretend is not the platform.

    Sadly, we are now living the old Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.


    Kim G
    Boston, MA
    Where it’s kind of shocking to realize that despite it all, the USA is still one of the better-run countries on the planet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good feedback, Señor Kim. As for one of the better-run countries on the planet, I nominate Mexico, strange as it will seem to many who have been brainwashed by the U.S. media and State Department.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, Mexico is moving in the right direction, but the recent escape of El Chapo, along with the murder of the 43 normalistas of Ayotzinapa, show that corruption remains the country’s single biggest problem. Fix that, and the country probably LEAPS ahead.


        1. Kim: Few, if any, nations don’t have a corruption problem. I truly am not convinced that Mexico’s is any worse than America’s. Others will disagree.

          And don’t get me started on the young nitwits in Ayotzinapa. I wrote a post on that situation. Everyone was to blame, the people who killed them, and the nitwits themselves. There were no good guys at all.


          1. Mexico’s corruption problem is far and away worse than in the US. How many Mexican state governors are in prison? How many US cops (for all their problems) are on the payroll of criminal organizations? How many “most wanted” criminals have escaped not once but twice from US maximum security prisons? The facts speak for themselves.


            1. Kim: Maybe you Gringos are just slicker. How many U.S. cops are on criminal payrolls is unknown. Maybe El Chapo was an anomaly. Cultures are different. I stick by my gut feeling.


            1. Kim: I’ve been thinking about your use of the word homophobic in connection with the Barney Frank item. Phobic? It’s definitely a gay joke, sure.

              There are Jewish jokes, redneck jokes, Polack jokes, you name it, all those categories that have been swept under the carpet by the sanctimonious PC police. Well, not redneck jokes or any sort of joke regarding white people, but all others, yes. You can diss white people till the cows come home.

              In none of these categories appears the word phobic. Redneck-phobic jokes, nah. Jewish-phobic jokes, nah. Polack-phobic jokes, tampoco. They are all simply ethnic jokes, and they are funny. There is nothing phobic about them.

              And the same applies to Item. 17. It’s a gay joke. A fag joke, if you will. Nothing wrong with it at all. It’s funny.


              1. You may find it funny, but it comes at the expense of basically insulting one of the last oppressed groups that’s still considered “fair game.” And that’s what makes it homophobic, funny or not.

                Liked by 1 person

        1. Furthermore, if you fellows want to go mainstream, get married and all that stuff, you’ll have to get a good sense of humor.

          We Crackers laugh at ourselves.


  2. The Republican party is not all that good, but the Democratic is worse. We have to choose between two evils. Let us pick the lesser of the two.

    Dick Morris says that there is 39 percent of the electorate that will automatically vote for the Democratic party. They are union members, government employees, unwed mothers, Blacks and those social parasites that are dependent on government handouts.

    The portion of society that no longer works or produces is growing. And now I find myself in that segment. I am old and cannot work. I am on Social Security, and I get my health care from the VA.

    Yet, I cannot bring myself to vote for Democrats. They are so bad! They hate the system that provides us with jobs and the goods and services that our society needs.

    One party believes wealth is created by working, saving, investing. The other party believes wealth is acquired by taking it away from those that do work, save and invest. We all can’t live on food stamps.

    This does not bode well for our nation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Señor Gill: We are, and not for the first time, of one mind. I only cheer the Republican Party because it’s the sole counter to the Democratic Party. I hold my nose as I cheer, which ain’t easy to do.

      Oh, if we only had a third option, but that’s very difficult to do.

      None of it bodes well for the nation. The only positive thing, for me and you, is that most of our lives are behind us.

      And I too get Social Security, but my healthcare is the good, capitalist Mexican system.


      1. I fear for the future of my children and grandchildren.

        Also, are you prepared for a massive devaluation of the dollar? Do you have an income from a local source? Mexico is a nice country, but it is no country to be in without funds. Nobody loves poor people.


        1. Señor Gill: I have no grandchildren and I never will have, so that’s something I won’t have to worry about.

          Do I have an income from a local source? No, but I certainly could have were it necessary. It’s not too difficult to start a small business down here and, being a Mexican, it would not be illegal.

          Few of the thousands of Americans who live here, I imagine, have local sources of cash and, not being Mexicans, no way to do it legally. As for a massive devaluation of the dollar, I imagine that’s not going to happen anytime soon, but I do have a backup plan I’m in the middle of implementing (about four more years to go) that I’m not going into here in public. Basically, I’m separating my wife and myself from the U.S. as much as possible.


  3. Well, so much for your moving away from political posts! While I do not dislike HRH Hillary to the extent that you and many of your readers do, I am becoming more and more disenchanted with her as this political circus gets rolling. However, the Republicans don’t seem to be able to offer much choice at this point either. Sir Donald is high in the polls because he has the support of so many illiterate, uneducated conservative Republicans.

    Although I am getting very tired of all the mudslinging early on, it will indeed be interesting to see how this whole mess finally plays out. Have a good weekend!


    1. Charles: I don’t recall saying I was moving away from political posts here. Goodness gracious, no! I have far too much fun with it. What you likely are thinking of is that I have said my new Tumblr website will not deal with politics. It’s just good, clean fun:


      As for your becoming less fond of Hillary, that puts a smile on my face because if someone as radical as you feels that way, probably many other Democrats do too. Maybe Bernie will get nominated. No way that an ancient Socialist would be elected president. Go, Bernie! Wave that Red flag, Comrade.

      The Republicans are not offering much choice? Quite the contrary. Ted Cruz looks fine to me, as does Scott Walker, Rick Perry (yes!) and even Carly Fiorina. Not too keen on Carson, Huckabee or Santorum due to their being Bible-thumpers.

      And, of course, The Donald, quite a phenom. His popularity revolves around his willingness to say what most people think about illegal aliens, etc. He will fade, I do hope, but I kind of like his pizzaz.


      1. With regard to Fiorina, keep in mind that she ran Hewlett Packard into the ground, and is amongst that exclusive club of CEOs where her resignation created an upward surge in the stock that shortly turned into a bull run. Or, in other words, her highest value-add action was to leave the company.


          1. Don’t underestimate the power of the status quo. Jeb Bush represents the status quo, and for that reason, I suspect Charles is right.


    2. Why do you think that conservatives are uneducated and illiterate? It jus’ ain’t true. In fact, it is a simplistic, narrow minded view of those with whom you disagree. We know a Canadian couple who prides themselves on being progressives. They hate Americans (especially Texans) who they think are ignorant and illiterate. They asked us to go out with a group of their Canadian friends once and instructed us not to mention that we are conservatives, Christians, or that we had lived in Texas, as to not offend their friends. Until this time, we were happy to be friends with people with whom we didn’t necessarily agree, but whose differences made for lively discussion.

      We are civil and (surprise!) educated people. So, who is the most intolerant, the most liberal and enlightened? We, who are conservatives, or the progressives who cannot tolerate those with differing viewpoints?

      The Republicans do not offer a good alternative? Have you seen the number of candidates vying for nomination? Donald Trump is not the only candidate, though he is the one getting the most media attention at the moment. And what does your party offer? Tired, old, ugly, unpleasant, dishonest Hillary, a woman whose own husband cannot even support her by being faithful long enough for her to get nominated.


      1. Bonnie: Don’t take it personally. Charles was just repeating the left-line. You know, we’re all knuckle-draggers without the sense to step into the cave when the thunderstorm hits.

        As for tolerance, there is no question conservatives are far more tolerant. Send a prominent conservative speaker to any Ivy League university these days, and all Hell will break loose until the chancellor cancels the invite. Believe it. However, if a leftie speaker is invited to a conservative university, and there are one or two, you’ll hear no protests, no demands that the invitation be withdrawn, nothing of that sort. Here’s what will happen: A few students will attend out of curiosity or having nothing better to do, but most will just stay in the library and study. Not one student will call for heads to roll.

        That the Democrat Party is considering just Hillary and a socialist is incredible.

        So did you go out with those Canucks and keep your traps shut? I rather doubt it.


  4. Felipe: You forgot to mention that the Democrats are the party for:

    (1) Abortion: Only in America can you be fined $1000 and sentenced to a year in jail for breaking the egg of an eagle and, at the same time, make a fortune operating a “baby butcher” clinic. Moral schizophrenia indeed.

    (2) and attempt to make homosexuality a normal, alternative lifestyle: One study reports that the average homosexual has between 20 and 106 partners per year (Corey, L. and Holmes, K. “Sexual Transmission of Hepatitis A in Homosexual Men.” New England J. Med., 1980, pp. 435-38). The average heterosexual has 8 partners in a lifetime.


    Hillary said and then later admitted:

    — Chelsea was jogging around the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. (She was in bed watching it on TV.)
    — Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary. (She admitted she was wrong. He climbed Mt. Everest five years after her birth.)
    — She was under sniper fire in Bosnia. (A girl presented her with flowers at the foot of the ramp.)
    — She learned in The Wall Street Journal how to make a killing in the futures market. (It didn’t cover the market back then.)
    — She did not send any classified emails on her private email server (Later proved a lie by the State Department).
    — The U.S. ambassador and staff murdered in Benghazi was caused by a anti-Muslim movie produced in the U.S. (later proven wrong by current administration, CIA, FBI, acknowledgement).
    — She only used the personal email account for emailing Bill. (Bill stated later in a different interview he didn’t use e-mail.)

    Whoppers she won’t confess to:
    — She was unaware of the 6 BILLION dollars unaccounted for while she was head of the State Department.
    — She didn’t know about the pardons of members of the violent Puerto Rico nationalist group FALN.
    — She didn’t know that her brothers were being paid to get pardons that Clinton granted.
    — Taking the White House gifts was a clerical error.
    — She didn’t know that her staff would fire the travel office staff after she told them to do so.
    — The money received from foreign governments was all for charity.
    — She had nothing to do with Putin buying access to U.S. uranium mines, while she was head of the State Department.


    1. Jeff: I detect some copy and paste here. No matter. Whatever works. Can I conclude that Hillary will not be getting your vote next year? Mine either.


      1. Hi Felipe: I don’t get your drift regarding cutting & pasting. Of course, I use that feature to avoid having to type everything out. Didn’t you cut & paste and edit “17 Things I Trust More than Hillary Clinton” in this article?


    1. Amen! She belongs in the slammer.

      The Republican party allows people to think. It is a huge tent that accepts anyone. Therefore, it has its fair share of kooks. That is the price of not having to parrot the party line. Express a divergent view amongst Democrats, and you are frozen out and reviled.
      Republicans just say “you are entitled to your opinion and the right to express that opinion.”
      The media takes the opinions of kooks and extrapolates it to cover all Republicans. We are not all religious fanatics or rich folks.
      Think for yourself. Don’t let MSNBC or CNN make up your mind.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Let me use some typical U.S. logic.

    Hillary is a women and it’s time a woman was president. Has nothing to do with experience. After all, Obama had none and he has been an excellent president.

    Hillary should be president because she was her husband’s right-hand man during his presidency and that is enough for me.

    With logic like that, we should start welcoming her to the White House. And besides, to quote her, “What difference does it make?” The country is past the balance where voters can possibly right the sinking ship, when 65% of the possibly voting people are on one form of welfare or another.

    El barco se hundió.


  6. Just for clarification purposes, I did not state that ALL conservatives were illiterate and uneducated…just those that blindly support Trump and his inflammatory rhetoric…I used to enjoying listening to and reading William F. Buckley, an extremely intelligent conservative voice who would be appalled at the Trump candidacy.

    As for Hillary belonging in jail…based on what charges? If any of our recent leaders belong in the hoosegow it would be GWB, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Ms. Rice…lying war criminals all…if the American electorate is stupid enough to put another Bush in the White House, so be it…one reaps what one sows…


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