Death of the muse

TURNING THE CALENDAR to a new year makes one gaze both forward and backward. Well, me at least. And at my advancing age, there’s far more behind than ahead.

When I retired my former website, The Zapata Tales, in 2011, it was because I had wearied of writing about “Life in Mexico.” What had begun in 2000 as an incredible adventure that I wanted to share had become mundane, everyday life.

Still love living here, but I’m used to it.

I wanted a fresh online slate. My main interest was writing short fiction. I had done a bit of that with The Tales, but I wanted it to be my primary focus — fiction.

And it was, for a good while. I wrote some pretty good stuff that I’m not modest about. Interestingly, I’ve never taken a writing class. And, though I spent 30 years in the newspaper business, I have never taken a journalism class either.

Something weird happened a year or so ago. My muse died, inexplicably. Here’s how my fiction previously came into being: It just landed on me, magically, more often than not at dawn while I was lying in the sack half asleep.

An idea!

Then I would write it as the sun rose over the mountains. Some of it was remarkably good, if I do say so myself. Reading it later, I would wonder, where did that come from?

My father was a writer, mostly poetry and even more mostly haiku. He would worry it to death, think on it, mull on it, spend lots of time on it. And it did come out good. Some is still available on Amazon. He died in 1991.

I never mulled much. It just flowed, surprising me.

But then it stopped. Why? I have no idea. Age? Possibly. I have noticed a general attitude change of late.

The Unseen Moon now focuses on two things, politics/culture and — yet again — my life in Mexico.

Well, enough of that. To welcome in the new year, here is one of my favorites, a blast from the past. It’s titled The Broken Staircase. Maybe this will kick-start my muse:

* * * *

The Broken Staircase

Five steps rotted and collapsed in the middle of the staircase, and that’s how it all began.

Alcott was upstairs. He never left his home again.

He decided to write a history of mankind. It would be thorough, but due to having no reference materials upstairs, it would be fiction by necessity, a history of mankind as it should have been, the perfect people. He liked the idea, and dedicated the rest of his life to writing fictitious history.

. . . which should not be confused with historical fiction. No, he wrote history hidden by a mask, creating a dream world, but really, after all, it was not so different from actual historical writing at times.

But first there was the matter of survival. For that he turned to his old friend Beaman whom he had known since boyhood.

Beaman lived nearby.

There was the question of food.

Beaman tossed up a rope, and that was how Alcott received his daily meals, a basket connected to the rope. Beaman’s wife, Aldyth, simply made a bit more than she and Beaman ate each day, and Beaman took the leftovers to Alcott.

We should mention that Alcott was married too. His wife was Godeleva, but Alcott had not loved — or even liked — Godeleva in many years.

As luck would have it, Godeleva was downstairs when the five steps rotted in the staircase. She noticed the problem even before Alcott. She smiled, walked into the downstairs bedroom, packed two bags, and headed to the beach.

. . . and never returned.

* * * *

Alcott was not a social man, so the upstairs isolation suited him, plus there was lots of time to invent fictional history.

Luckily, there was a bathroom on the second floor of Bockingfold and an antique typewriter.

Bockingfold was the name of the home, which had been in Alcott’s family for generations. Godeleva had always found it cold and dreary there.

About a year after the five steps rotted in the staircase, Alcott awoke one morning thinking of Godeleva whose body was as fine as her personality was foul. That afternoon, during their daily chat through the second-floor window, as warm stew was ascending, he asked Beaman for a woman.

Man does not live by stew alone, he said, or something like that. There was an obstacle. The rope was medium-weight, and the basket had been bought at a discount outlet that imported from India.

The woman, they concluded, must be lightweight and short, a wisp of a girl.

This was acceptable to Alcott, desirable even, because Godeleva, although quite beautiful, was big-boned. And Alcott was ready for new adventures.

Find a mini-version of womankind, Alcott said to Beaman, but she must be over 21 because Alcott wanted no problems with the police.

One week later, Beaman stood beneath the window with Vulpine, which means like a fox. She said she was 26. And she was quite small, a midget actually, which should not be confused with a dwarf. She was well-formed, firm and fine.

Her hair and full lips were flaming red.

She fit perfectly into the basket, holding the day’s stew in her lap. Alcott, with a bit of extra effort, hoisted both dishes to the window sill and inside the room to which Vulpine hopped effortlessly and looked up at him, smiling.

* * * *

Vulpine did not speak much about her past. There was something about a circus, a prison and horse rides through the mountains with a man named Smoke.

Alcott and Vulpine hit it off immediately. She liked the security, the daily stews, and he liked the look of her, the red lips, the hair blazing like a bonfire.

redhead1And that’s how it stayed. The years passed, and Alcott wrote. In time there were 35 volumes of fictional history. He grew old and gray and stooped.

But Vulpine never changed a bit.

She was like magic, and that was what he wanted.

No one ever repaired the staircase of Bockinfold, and when Alcott died one day, Vulpine kissed his cheek, shimmied down the rope like a child and walked off into a sunny winter afternoon, her hair lit like Christmas candles.

14 thoughts on “Death of the muse

    don’t know what took me so long to subscribe, but i finally did!  i’ve enjoyed reading your different blogs although for a while, i didn’t read any blogs  written in mexico-not that i didn’t enjoy them, just keeping busy with life in japan. i know what you mean about what once seemed like an adventure, just becomes every day life. sometimes i wish i’d written a blog as i’ve had some very interesting experiences here, but not being the techie type, i’d be very frustrated trying to figure out all the ins and outs of writing.
    here are a few pix i’d like to share from our trip to kaua’i.


        1. Gracias, Señor Cuevas. Lots more in the library I call The Pearls of Zapata. There are a number of links here, but I think nobody pays much mind to the links. Such is life.


  2. Well, maybe you just need to get away from politics, run barefoot through the grass, and do some other crazy stuff, and your muse will return with full force.

    Let’s all hope, as your fiction is fantastic and we look forward to more of it.

    May the muse be with you in 2016 and beyond!


    Kim G
    Boston, MA
    Where our own muse is fickle, waxing and waning, but never quite disappearing. We thank our lucky karma and try to create more.


    1. Kim: Nah, the Muse doesn’t give a hoot if I write about politics or not. She’s in her own, special world, which does not include me these days.

      But thanks for the kind words.


    2. I agree with Kim. Focusing on politics will kill the muse. It is depressing and enervating. Have you read Ibsen’s, The Master Builder? The protagonist worries about aging, losing his place in society and his career and is trapped in a loveless marriage. His muse comes to him as a beautiful young woman/troll who lures him to his death. Your story made me remember this story.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bonnie: As I told Kim, the two are totally unconnected. I do political polemics 99.99 percent of the time when I see some news story that disturbs me. The muse that feeds — fed — me fiction is a completely unrelated issue. Trust me on this.

        No, I have not read The Master Builder. Sounds interesting. But the beautiful young woman I am married to lures me into life, not death.


  3. A fine start to the best year yet. Each one is always better; as we age, we realize that what we need to enjoy life to the fullest is appreciating what we have.


  4. ‘But Vulpine never changed a bit.
    She was like magic, and that was what he wanted.’

    ha ha ha ha ha! Oh my yes. I have met more than one man who felt so incredibly cheated by the fact that their wives or lovers aged just like they did.


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