Brown bags and citizens

The State of California was once the nation’s crackpot capital, but the City of Seattle has seized that title.

California is no less loony than before. It simply has slid into deep financial crisis (See Detroit for California’s future) and has more pressing matters on its collective mind. Its crackpot rating is on the back burner.

The Speech Police in Seattle has a division called Thought Control.

If you can control thoughts, the need for Speech Police will diminish dramatically and, with luck, may eliminate the need for Speech Police entirely.

That is the dream.

Here is the Thought Control Division’s latest “suggestion” for Seattle. These “suggestions” are like Hitler’s “suggestion” that you should not hide Jews and Stalin’s “suggestion” that you shun the profit motive.

They are suggestions with teeth.

Brown BagSeattle’s regime suggests that city workers shun the words “citizen” and “brown bag” because they might “offend someone.”

A city spokesman named Elliott Bronstein says that brown bags stir bad memories in the “African-American” community.

Bronstein claims the phrase brown bag “does bring up associations with the past when a brown bag was actually used, I understand, to determine if people’s skin color was light enough to allow admission to an event, or to come into a party that was being held in a private home.”

Aside from being hilarious, this is blatant nonsense. Never happened.

Bronstein offers these alternatives: Sack lunch and “lunch and learn.” How “lunch and learn” substitutes for brown bag or sack lunch remains obscure.

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CITIZENS VERSUS RESIDENTS

But there is more. Seattle also “suggests” to city employees that they not use the word “citizen” because it too might “offend someone.”

That someone, of course, is an illegal alien. And if there is anyone the Speech Police love more than a smoky skin tone, it’s an illegal alien.*

Eliminating the word citizen from your vocabulary will be easy, Bronstein assures us. “How about residents” instead? he asks glibly.

This will make sense to the slow-witted, who abound in Seattle. However, citizen and resident are in no way interchangeable. Citizen is a legal status. Resident is someone, anyone, who simply lives somewhere.

You will hear this type of prattle in the unfree world’s re-education camps, which Seattle clearly has become.

Meanwhile, in other nations of the globe, people are addressing actual problems and acting like adults.

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* Most illegal aliens have smoky skin tones, making them doubly beloved.

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