The dilemma


IF YOU GET into the Honda, stick it in reverse, back up till the car’s butt-side is sitting midway inside the opposite carport (The Nissan must be gone), look out the driver’s window, this is what you’ll see. It’s long been one of my favorite Hacienda shots, and this is not the first time I have photographed it.

I remain surprised at the greenery hereabouts since this is not the coastal tropics of Mexico. We sit high in the mountains in the middle of the country. Fruit off those banana trees are not edible, but the trees thrive and lend a romantic, sultry air. The house is just over 11 years old. We designed and built it.


We have no children. Who will get this place after we are Promoted to Glory? This dilemma ultimately, of course, will be my child bride’s. Being 16 years her senior, the probability of my exiting first are overwhelming.

She has lots of Mexican relatives, of course — they all have lots of relatives — but many are, in my opinion, of highly questionable character. I have no will. Don’t need one because I own nothing. This house, the casita downtown and the condo in Mexico City are all in my child bride’s name. Same for the two cars. And financial resources in my name automatically go to her. So — got no Last Will & Testament.

She does have one, however, and we made it out years ago. Everything goes to her sister here in town. But that sister needs this place like she needs another cigarette in her mouth or another Coca-Cola in her hand. Plus, that sister is not a giving, loving soul. In short, I want this changed. But to who?

A top contender is a niece, about 30, who recently married a very good guy. Said niece already has two sons from previous “relationships,” and the idea that she’s the top contender tells you quite a bit about the other relatives. The marriage is only about 18 months old, and the jury is out on whether she will pull it off with this great guy that fell into her lap. I try to stay optimistic, though in truth I am not.

Another contender, who’s only 11 now, the adopted son of the above-mentioned sister, likely will be well set due to his mother’s many properties, places she inherited by pure luck. We favor this young fellow, but all the others could use a windfall far more than he could.

There are others too. Nieces, nephews, sisters, brothers. What likely will happen is that a number will be thrown into the pot, and the properties will have to be sold to split the spoils. I won’t care because I’ll be playing a harp or, even better, enjoying my 72 virgins. That will require converting to Mohammedanism at the very last moment.

It could get tricky.

Mexico has a Last Will and Testament Sale every September when the lawyers do them for half-price. We’ll be taking advantage of that in six weeks. To include yourself, send your name and vitals.