No porch pirates

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My latest delivery!

I’M A FUN-LOVING fellow, and last December I had Amazon send a gift to my last wife for her birthday. The fun-loving part is what I sent, a red MAGA cap because she is not a Trump fan in spite of being otherwise quite intelligent when we were married.

I never received any acknowledgement from her, so I do not know if the gift was seized by porch pirates, which I understand is a big problem above the border, or if she simply has lost her sense of humor, a widespread affliction of people who still vote Democrat.

(In Mexico, we don’t have porch pirates because few people have porches accessible from the street. We have high walls like God intended.)

I’m guessing it’s about a 50-50 tossup as to whether porch pirates grabbed my gift, or if she got it, scowled and threw it into the trash. We both were staunch Democrats during our almost two decades together, but I have wised up. I’m hoping to find her #WalkAway video on YouTube in the near future. So many Democrats have seen the light.

We Mexicans have our own version of Amazon — its warehouse is in Mexico City — but we also have Mercado Libre, which is sort of a Latin American Amazon. Both have tons of merchandise, and both offer speedy delivery. I got one this afternoon.


Fad or not?

I left a comment on another blog today, saying the gender-transitioning thing has become a fad. It’s not like hula-hoops or bell-bottom pants, of course, because those fads were harmless fun, but I think it’s a fad nonetheless, a sick, demented one.

News stories of people “transitioning,” which is a nice way of saying they take lots of drugs and have body parts sliced off, have ballooned in recent years. You even read of parents, especially celebrities, assisting their children in the madness.

This was almost unheard of 20 or 30 years ago, but not now. Has the percentage of people who actually feel they’re in the wrong body skyrocketed or is something else going on? Is it a “cool” thing to do, i.e. a fad? I think so.

There are so many nutty notions accepted in Western society these days, e.g. white privilege, ideas based on ignorance, that “transitioning” is just one in a long and growing line.

A woman responded on the other blog that my saying it’s a fad is “disgusting.” I think I am just stating the obvious. If it’s not a fad, what is it?

Last man standing

sonyUNTIL THIS week, I was the last man in the modern world without a Smartphone. But I have folded.

Sure, I had a cell phone, had one for years. It would do calls, messages and, well, that’s it. I was a Luddite in the phone department. The Hacienda has no landline.

I had never bought a Smartphone because I already spend too much time online, plus the phone keyboards are too freaking tiny for my manly paws. It’s annoying.

The primary reason I upgraded was that the old phone’s sound was lame. I frequently had trouble understanding what was being said* through that antique gizmo.

My new phone is a Sony Xperia C1904 that came onto the market in 2013. I bought mine used for 1,200 pesos, about 65 U.S. bucks, on Mercado Libre, which I’ve been wanting to try for years. A reseller in Mérida shipped it to me via DHL.

It’s not one of the huge ones. It measures 2.5 inches by 5 inches. I bought a nice case to carry it on my belt. I look very hip.

I have no contract. I just pay for the time I use, which is how I want it. I don’t need a contract because I don’t communicate with lots of folks. My personality remains the same.

My phone number did not change.

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* Say what?

The cameraman

I’M INTERESTED in taking better photos. I’ll need a new camera. My current ride is a Kodak Easyshare, inexpensive, but it works fine.

Except for one thing: It only zooms to 3X, which doesn’t get you very far, literally. It does have 16 megapixels, which means the photos are pretty sharp, but the zoom’s gotta go a lot farther.

I’ve asked some good photographers I know for camera recommendations. The Gold Standard is Billie Mercer, but that was like asking Donald Trump for a restaurant recommendation: First, take the Learjet to Paris … have the limo waiting on the tarmac.  Billie is way past my pay grade.

I’d have to rob a bank.

I ran into the same problem with Kim G. and Steve Cotton, good photographers both. But wealthy guys with sterling gear.

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The Canon

I’m just a poor, humble Mexican.

A recommendation more in my fiscal comfort zone, a Panasonic Lumix DMC FZ200, came from Angeline, but I opted for a Canon Powershot SX520, which is similar.

A slightly pricier version, the SX60 HS, had been recommended by Jack Brock who is, by the way, one of the world’s premier wood sculptors.

Then came the issue of getting the camera into my hands. I looked around my mountaintop to no avail. I imagine I could have found it down the slope in the state capital, but this is 2015, so I looked online.

First, I went to Mercado Libre (Free Market), a longtime website that connects Mexican buyers and retailers. I found the Canon readily available and was on the verge of buying it when I thought of Amazon, which just weeks ago opened its Mexican operation.

I love Amazon, capitalism at its finest. I found the camera for just a few pesos more, free delivery, and ordered it. They promised it by Friday.

One of the reasons I decided to get a better camera is a new photo website, Eyes of the Moon, I’ve opened on Tumblr.

At the moment, I’ve added a few of my older photos, but when the new camera arrives, expect more. They will all be black and white, which captures a certain elegance, plus it reflects my grim personality.

Maybe I’ll become a papparazzi. I’m so ancient, with white hair and glasses, perhaps nobody will punch me out.

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(Note: Also on Tumblr, you’ll find my other recent addition, Satellite Moon, progressing nicely. It’s a politics-free zone, all sweetness and light.)