The Zapata Files

LET’S OPEN the 70-year-old file cabinet and peek inside.

Oh, dear. Look at the mess, the disarray. This is not a “Father Knows Best” cabinet. There appears to be neither rhyme nor reason nor direction. The files go this way and that. Let’s take a closer look.

filesThis cabinet seems strangely familiar. I do believe it’s my personal cabinet.

There’s a whiff of Boodles Gin. And ayahuasca.

Getting out of high school at the top end of my class, I enrolled at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee. Thought I’d major in philosophy. Weeks later, I dropped out and joined the military. A couple of years later, with only one stripe, I dropped out of that too. Better go to college, young man, because everybody does it. A path to success.

About seven colleges and universities later (really), from Louisiana to Tennessee to California, I got a Bachelor’s Degree in History, useless but better than nothing. In the meantime, I got married, became a father.

A file is tabbed Descendants. Inside are two sub-files. One is labeled Offspring. It contains two sheets. One is rimmed in pink and says Alienated. The other is rimmed in black and says Deceased. The second sub-file is labeled Grandchildren. That file is empty — and always will be.

And here’s a file labeled Siblings. There is one sheet inside. It is rimmed in rainbow colors and trimmed like sharp teeth. It contains two words: Alienated and Angry.

Let’s open the file labeled Marriages. There are three documents. Three wives! Here’s a file labeled Employment. The entry with the most sheets is Newspapering, but I never took a newspapering class in my life. What happened to the History degree? There are other pages in Employment.

I see taxi driver, bartender, insurance broker, insurance salesman, repo man and electrician. Electrician? Where did that come from? Let’s open the file labeled Schooling. Behind the Bachelor’s Degree in History are other pages. One is an Associate Degree in Electrical Construction Technology.

Here too is a document marked Incomplete. Looks like I was one class short of an Associate Degree in Computer Science. Digging farther, I find other papers. One says Certified Massage Therapist. Another says Certified Mixologist. (No shock there.) Another says Certified Private Pilot. Clearly, I was certifiable.

I often envy people whose life had a clear and straight trajectory. But perhaps I had more fun. I hope so.

I definitely had more wives.

The lady warriors

THE AMERICAN elites’ politically correct obsession with putting women into military infantry and other front-line combat positions soldiers on.

Because women can do anything a man can do. There is absolutely no difference, aside from plumbing and what dangles where, between the capabilities and talents of the two. It’s about fairness, you know.

Arrant nonsense, of course.

girl

It appears that President Barry is poised to order women into direct-combat positions by January 2016. A military that does this has a death wish, no matter how much you gussy up the gals in camo.

Women do have a long history with fighting forces. Camp prostitutes, of course, and in certain periods of European history — when wars were a more gentlemanly affair than they are today — many soldiers brought their wives along on campaigns to sew and cook and love.

The ladies got to watch battles from a nearby hill, but no safe hills exist these days.

And the great American experiment that began in 1776 continues its disintegration into nuttiness, mostly brought to you by clueless, dreamy-eyed collectivists.

These notions invariably spring from the NDP, not Republicans. Keep that in mind the next time you’re inclined to say the two parties are the same, so why bother to vote?

We are engaged in a religious war with Mohammedans. The Mohammedans do not bring women to their battles, and Mohammedans react nastily when they encounter women opposing them.

You’ll end up with sand between your butt cheeks as a camp prostitute for the other side. It won’t resemble what you were led to expect during “empowering” Women’s Studies at Bryn Mawr. Not by a long shot.

The American mess

IT’S A GREAT time to be a Mexican. The economy is headed uphill. Reforms to correct longstanding problems are gradually taking effect. Democracy is working well since 2000. The government does not attempt to micromanage our personal lives. The infrastructure improves daily. And we have a president who’s handsome.

US flagThen there’s the United States. Its economy still struggles. There are no reforms to correct anything that matters. Democracy, we sadly observe, works poorly with an ignorant electorate. The government wants to micromanage personal lives. The infrastructure degrades daily. And there is a clueless, ineffectual president.

The southern border is a sieve where hordes of people pour illegally into the country with scant impediment. Lots of children lately. Cities and states offer them “sanctuary,” drivers’ licenses and handouts. The nation’s educational curriculum is left-wing and anti-American. Free speech is verboten on university campuses.

Taxes are high, especially on businesses. The money is misused. The ranks of the government-supported “disabled” grow daily as does the illegitimacy rate, especially in urban ghettos. The national debt soars to incredible levels, and nobody does anything about it in either party. Capitalism (i.e. liberty) is sneered at.

As money grows for the faux disabled, money decreases for the military in this increasingly uncertain world.

Traditional families, gender roles and religions are also sneered at. Emotional deviancy, which has crafted its own flags to wave, is celebrated, protected by law and rubbed in the faces of the huge majority.

Children are confused and left on their own.

On the international stage, the clueless, ineffectual president none too subtly favors dangerous religious fanatics whom he does not consider to be such due to his being poorly informed and devoted to left-wing multicultural pipe dreams. And this very perilous presidency favors unlawful, unilateral action to consensus.

mex flagYes, America is a mess.

It’s a great time to be a Mexican.