Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

(If you tend toward attacks of the vapors, best not watch the video. Really.)

BUT IF YOU’RE made of harder stuff and possess a streak of adventure, let’s move on. Grab your fur-lined handcuffs, leather hood and straps.

This video with a chirpy little coed aims to make you feel all right about sadism, masochism and bondage. Her Valley Girl manner of speech is like fingernails across a blackboard.

I have no problem with BDSM, as it is known to the cognoscenti, because I have no problem with whatever consenting adults do to one another under the covers … or hanging from a roof beam … or trussed over a barrel and gagged.

What is appalling about this video, and it’s one of a series, is its connection to Planned Parenthood, which receives annually over $500 million in government grants. Your tax money at work, amigos. Did anybody ask if that’s okay with you?

I always thought Planned Parenthood dedicated itself to birth-control advice and — if that advice was not followed — offering safe abortions. Well, safe for mama.

But no. They also teach how to use fur-lined handcuffs.

Why do you need instructions for that? Just snap them closed around each of your victim’s partner’s wrists. Start spanking or grab a whip. It’s easy.

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(Note: For more information brought to you by Planned Parenthood, and to hear more screeching from that girl, Laci Green, don’t miss A Naked Notion.)