These dismal days

birdy
Nice, clean water in the birdbath this morning.

UNCLE JOSÉ, i.e. the Mexican government, says it’s gonna take more-drastic measures to counter the Kung Flu, starting, I believe, next Wednesday. We’re going to Costco and Chedraui early Monday, so we’ll be stocking up on survival items.

Mexicans don’t take the government very seriously when they can get away with it, so it’ll be interesting to watch. One agency said yesterday we may have eight times more Kung Flu cases than the official count which sits at 21,243 with 194 fatalities.

Speaking of survival items, I drove to the pharmacy yesterday to purchase a two-month supply of Sildenafil. I had run out. What’s the point of having a buff child bride if you cannot take advantage of that? I last touched on this topic in 2013.

I got up at dawn today, checked online for news and gossip, did my gym workout, and went downstairs for coffee, biscuit and honey. Then the two of us chilled out a spell on the soft, scarlet sofa with music and incense as is our custom. That usually ends at 9.

Checked online a bit more, put on grubby clothes and headed out for my morning walk on the neighborhood plaza. My child bride did not accompany me due to her being busy, knitting, of all things, a sweater. In April.

Second breakfast, cereal, occurred at 11, as usual. We took our vitamins. She returned to the knitting, and I braced myself emotionally for yard work, mostly picking up bougainvillea clippings from a couple of days ago, but I also deadheaded Birds of Paradise, the act of which is almost as grim as it sounds. They look like real birds.

Then I scrubbed the birdbath, refilled it with water, toted a huge bag of green garbage out to the Honda where it sits until after lunch when I’ll transport it and other trash to the dumpster on the ring road. Even in the Plague Year, garbage happens.

But before the trash run, we’ll down beans, rice and sausage from Costco. That’s lunch for today. Chopped onion and Tabasco sauce will also be in attendance.

Oh, I forgot to mention that after second breakfast, I sat in the upstairs terraza, and my child bride gave me a haircut. Since my current ‘do is a buzz cut, and I own a clipper set, this is easy work. I look quite clean and nice now.

Everyone desires a lovely corpse.

Vitamin V-plus

(Warning: The following may be disturbing to young children and women prone to the vapors.)

I took Viagra the other night. The first time. Zoweee!

spikeI’m 68, in better physical condition that most men my age. Blood pressure is good. Blood sugar is normal. Cholesterol’s just dandy. And I am sleek to boot. At 6′-3″, I weigh about 170.

Really got no significant health issues at all. I take no ongoing meds, which is more than many folks my age can say.

In short, I feel fine. Plus, I have a child bride, a daily inspiration.

And my weiner still works! But not precisely as it did at age 38 or even 48. I attribute this to an ever diminishing testosterone level, which is normal as men age. But the hot dog worked well enough, and I was happy with it.

I had no plans whatsoever to down Vitamin V-plus.

And then I noticed that hereabouts, below the border, purchasing Viagra requires no doctor visit, no prescription. It’s right there for the asking.

I opted for adventure.

The Farmacia Guadalara sold me a box of four 50-mg. blue pills for about 45 pesos. That’s around $3.50 U.S. You can even buy a box of just one!

Viagra comes in calibers of 25, 50 and 100. About 15 percent of men feel side effects, mostly increased heartbeat, flushing, headaches, nose congestion — or death. That means 85 percent suffer no side effects, good odds.

But there is the big mama:  If you have a woody for more than four hours, see your doctor immediately.

This falls into the category of: I have good news and bad news.

And it’s the same news.

I decided to start out small. I had purchased the 50-caliber pills because the drugstore did not stock the 25s. With a pill cutter, I halved it.

My candlelit trial run revealed the 25-caliber to be ideal.

Just so you know, I’m 48 again.