Felipe for prez!

MOUNTAINTOP IN MEXICO — (AP) The bizarre presidential race in the United States was thrown into further turmoil today when Felipe Zapata tossed his sombrero into the mess.

candidate
Himself

Felipe, a controversial blogger — you either love him or loathe him — is, like Ted Cruz, a dual national. But, unlike Cruz, Felipe — who prefers to be called by one name à la Cher or Prince — will not trash his foreign passport.

He sees multiculturalism as a campaign plus.

The shocking announcement was made outside Felipe’s huge, colorful Hacienda in a hardscrabble neighborhood on the edge of a mystery village in the middle of Mexico.

The international press was missing, as was the Mexican, and the audience of four were Felipe’s family members who were eating burritos and drinking Coca-Cola.

Felipe’s brisk platform consists of six planks:

  1. The Mexican problem: This will be solved by building a 20-foot-high wall along America’s southern border. The U.S. will pay for it, not Mexico. Ten yards behind the wall will be an alligator-filled moat and machine-gun nests.
  2. The drug problem: This will be solved by canceling the ridiculous War on Drugs.  Getting stoned will be legal for adults. This will also help the Mexican problem.
  3. The economic problem: The Internal Revenue Service will be dissolved, and a 10 percent flat tax will be levied on all earnings, both business and personal. This will increase government income, plus the economy will boom.
  4. The welfare problem: All government handouts will cease with one exception: People who are demonstrably disabled and/or over the age of 65.
  5. The university problem: Safe spaces will be outlawed. Anyone found in a safe space or even asking for the location of one will be executed and buried in an undisclosed location where they will be safe till the end of time.
  6. The Mohammedan problem: U.S. mosques will be bulldozed, and Mohammedan men will lose their scimitars and be sent to slave camps. Mohammedan women’s heads and legs will be uncovered.  A blue-ribbon panel from the Jonesboro Baptist Church will decide what to do about the Middle East, with the exception of Israel, of course.

Felipe will run — and win — as an Independent. Campaign contributions should be send to his PayPal account, which will be up and running lickety-split.

His child bride will be America’s first Mexican First Lady.

His campaign slogan: Make America Legally Mexican And, Oh Yeah, Great Again.

Death by Democrats

BILL WHITTLE  knocks it out of the park again.

Grub for thought

THERE’S MUCH talk about raising the minimum wage. I don’t think there should be a minimum wage at all. I don’t think government should be telling private businesses how much they should pay employees.

Good government sticks to things like the military, the police, building highways, mild regulation when absolutely necessary, welfare safety nets for the truly needy, keeping the food chain clean, etc.

Minimum wage sounds like a great idea on the face of it. Get behind that face, and you run into deeper issues that most people don’t grasp. Government should usually butt out of private enterprise.

Alternatives to collectivism

COLLECTIVISTS BEAT conservatives handily in two areas: profanity and propaganda.

charityThat leftists curse like sailors was beautifully illustrated in the last presidential campaign. I addressed the issue then with a post titled What the (bleep)?! which links to a couple of NDP (New Democratic Party) television spots starring foul-mouthed celebrities who love Barry.

It is unthinkable that the Republicans would have countenanced something similar for Mitt Romney.

We are nice, polite people.

Collectivists also beat the pants off conservatives with propaganda. Collectivists have effectively pounded into the noggins of low-information voters (who are legion) that conservatives don’t care about poor people, that we want to end Social Security and Medicare which is, of course, arrant nonsense.

Conservatives want to modernize Social Security, for instance, bring it into the 21st century and make it more financially viable for the long haul. Right now, it is not, of course. And Medicare, which has served many people well, including my mother, needs reform too. Losses to fraud are scandalously massive.

Conservatives advocate improving that type of social program. The NDP says otherwise, and that’s baloney.

Let’s look at poor people. The NDP would have you think conservatives want poor people to starve in the streets. This too is malarky. Conservatives simply favor private-sector charities to government. Given the well-documented fraud and waste in Medicare, the conservative preference for private charities makes sense.

Conservatives are not fond of government coercion, and you should not be fond of it either.

That welfare programs, run by government, are spectacularly abused is no secret — unless you get your information from HuffPost, the Nation and MSNBC. Conservatives want assistance, preferably via the private sector, to go to those in need only. That, almost exclusively, means old people, the chronically ill and the handicapped. People who truly cannot help themselves. Private charities do this more efficiently.

Private charities do not put ne’er-do-wells on the public tit.

There are many privately run charitable organizations that touch the needy around the world. Here are two:

1. Kiva. This provides micro-loans. I was a contributor for a few years, withdrew to participate in another organization, but I have recently returned to Kiva. It does great work. My new team (Team Mexicano) could use some more members. You just need $25, for Pete’s sake. Join us.

2. Heifer International. This outfit provides worldwide help to the poor in a very novel way. Check it out. I recently discovered this group via a link on my ex-wife’s Facebook page. Gracias, Julie.

The opportunities to share the wealth (a collectivist goal) are countless, but it’s best to do it without being coerced, and it’s best to do it efficiently, with the truly needy getting the help, not folks like the Surfer Dude.

Conservatives aid the poor intelligently. And they don’t cuss up a storm while they’re at it.

Don’t be fooled by NDP propaganda. Be smart.

The collectivists’ vastly superior talent at propaganda is beautifully illustrated by their use of the word “immigrant.” They do not use the phrase illegal alien, of course, nor even illegal immigrant if they can weasel out of it. They love to say conservatives “hate immigrants.”

Of course, this is bogus. All but the most extreme xenophobes, who are no more numerous on the right than Bolsheviks on the left, have no problem with immigrants. It is lawlessness that we oppose. Illegal aliens, not law-abiding immigrants. Conservatives do not “hate immigrants.”